i have a lot to say. and a lot of doubts. and a lot of regrets. jealousy, anger, heartbreak, disappointment, mixed in some memorable moments. there will always be a what if. and i will always make excuses. but at least i know i’m trying, and i’m trying. maybe it’ll pay off. an maybe i’m not trying hard enough. part of me is terrified to abandon what i’ve already worked for. a fresh start might not be so bad. something has to make sense sooner or later, right?