i hate that life is too busy to spend all day in the darkroom. i need it. i need the smell of fixer. i need the stillness and the flow of the water. i need you telling me to just trust myself. do what i want. you believed i me, told me i had an eye. made something i enjoyed into something i love. i miss you everyday. being alone in mcmaster only makes me think of the last time i saw you. the hug, what you were wearing. your laugh. then everything changed. life really isn’t fair.